Sometimes, it's best to just go to sleep before your mind wanders on to topics that are better left alone. Sailor Moon for instance.
Sailor Moon Abridged in My Own Words (Many Spoilers)
Once upon a time (the late 80's/early 90's) in a far away land (Tokyo) there was a girl who was anime-pretty but allowed herself to be human instead of constantly worrying about the kinds of things that responsible people worry about.
NormalGirl was walking down the street when she witnessed heartbreaking violence toward a sweet little black cat. She scares off the evil mean boys torturing a cat and eventually finds herself with a magical talking cat. Every girl wants a talking cat right? WRONG! This cat brings many monsters into her life. This makes her have to pretend to be responsible sometimes except not really because the cat then brings her friends to help with the huge superhero workload.
Normalgirl meets a Meanboy who is much older than she is and thinks,"What a dickbag! I'm so glad I don't have to deal with him for the rest of my life!" Well guess what Normalgirl! You have just discovered the super-dreamy guy who has saved your ass several times only to vanish before you can have a conversation! Eventually her Seriousfriend dates this Meanboy, but then after the super hero girl class trip they take to the evil lair of thisevil lady who steals Meanboy in SuperDreamyHero form, Normalgirl and Meanboy end up together. Seriousfriend can't really complain because Normalgirl KILLED HERSELF in a past life for Meanboy and almost KILLED THEM ALL to win him back after hating him all season, but it seems really fucked up that Meanboy didn't even break up with her first.
Eventually, Normalgirl and Meanboy settle in to a nice relationship. They are having a nice day when their future offspring falls out of the sky on top of them. In this season, not only does the team have to fight the regular monsters, they also get to fix the fucked-up future, and in doing so they find out that the two main characters have no other options except each other. Seriously, they get to see all of the things that ultimately come as a result of their relationship and they know that their fate is sealed. No matter what they do, they're stuck.
Meanboy ends up having an internship or something in America so he proposes to Normalgirl, gets on the airplane, and DIES. Now, Normalgirl is not informed that he is dead. He's an orphan, apparently they assume that there is nobody to tell. While he is "gone", she desperately sends letters to him in America. After he doesn't respond, she starts to think that something has happened to him, that he hates her, that he's found someone else, the usual worries, except since she is the hero of the story she suffers in silence. She falls in love with a man who is actually a woman except not really but kind of (this sailor scout shit eventually gets really complicated) and feels guilty for having feelings for someone who is not her boyfriend. In the final battle all of her friends are killed off one by one, her boyfriend is still dead, and eventually she wins. Duh. It's an anime for little kids. The thing that disturbs me about it is that it's said that everyone is reborn and they all live happily ever after in Crystal Tokyo, but it doesn't show any of them. It only shows her. What if the angel of Everything Ends Up Okay was actually lying and nobody was okay? Or what if everyone except Meanboy was reborn because he wasn't in the final battle and Normalgirl kills herself again. Then the cycle would just repeat itself!
And this is, kids, is why you should go to sleep before 5:30 in the damn morning.
