WAIT A MINUTE!

Sometimes, it's best to just go to sleep before your mind wanders on to topics that are better left alone. Sailor Moon for instance.
 Sailor Moon Abridged in My Own Words (Many Spoilers)

Once upon a time (the late 80's/early 90's) in a far away land (Tokyo) there was a girl who was anime-pretty but allowed herself to be human instead of constantly worrying about the kinds of things that responsible people worry about.
NormalGirl was walking down the street when she witnessed heartbreaking violence toward a sweet little black cat. She scares off the evil mean boys torturing a cat and eventually finds herself with a magical talking cat. Every girl wants a talking cat right? WRONG! This cat brings many monsters into her life. This makes her have to pretend to be responsible sometimes except not really because the cat then brings her friends to help with the huge superhero workload.
Normalgirl meets a Meanboy who is much older than she is and thinks,"What a dickbag! I'm so glad I don't have to deal with him for the rest of my life!" Well guess what Normalgirl! You have just discovered the super-dreamy guy who has saved your ass several times only to vanish before you can have a conversation! Eventually her Seriousfriend dates this Meanboy, but then after the super hero girl class trip they take to the evil lair of thisevil lady who steals Meanboy in SuperDreamyHero form, Normalgirl and Meanboy end up together. Seriousfriend can't really complain because Normalgirl KILLED HERSELF in a past life for Meanboy and almost KILLED THEM ALL to win him back after hating him all season, but it seems really fucked up that Meanboy didn't even break up with her first.
Eventually, Normalgirl and Meanboy settle in to a nice relationship. They are having a nice day when their future offspring falls out of the sky on top of them. In this season, not only does the team have to fight the regular monsters, they also get to fix the fucked-up future, and in doing so they find out that the two main characters have no other options except each other. Seriously, they get to see all of the things that ultimately come as a result of their relationship and they know that their fate is sealed. No matter what they do, they're stuck.
Meanboy ends up having an internship or something in America so he proposes to Normalgirl, gets on the airplane, and DIES. Now, Normalgirl is not informed that he is dead. He's an orphan, apparently they assume that there is nobody to tell. While he is "gone", she desperately sends letters to him in America. After he doesn't respond, she starts to think that something has happened to him, that he hates her, that he's found someone else, the usual worries, except since she is the hero of the story she suffers in silence. She falls in love with a man who is actually a woman except not really but kind of (this sailor scout shit eventually gets really complicated) and feels guilty for having feelings for someone who is not her boyfriend. In the final battle all of her friends are killed off one by one, her boyfriend is still dead, and eventually she wins. Duh. It's an anime for little kids. The thing that disturbs me about it is that it's said that everyone is reborn and they all live happily ever after in Crystal Tokyo, but it doesn't show any of them. It only shows her. What if the angel of Everything Ends Up Okay was actually lying and nobody was okay? Or what if everyone except Meanboy was reborn because he wasn't in the final battle and Normalgirl kills herself again. Then the cycle would just repeat itself!



And this is, kids, is why you should go to sleep before 5:30 in the damn morning.

Truth and Goodbye.

        Wow I haven't updated in a while. Since my last blog, I've learned so much but faced so many setbacks that it doesn't seem worth it. My main lesson is what I've decided to blog about.
       Unless you've lived in a bubble or are very young, you've probably had to say goodbye to someone you care about at some point. Saying goodbye is never easy, but knowing you'll see that person again is usually the easiest way to cusion the blow. Another good way to think about it is reminding yourself that they probably feel just as awful as you do, which means they care too.
        But what if they don't feel the same way? What if they don't even care? What if they are glad to be getting away from you so they can be around the people they really care about?
       Either way, if this person means something to you and you think that by saying goodbye they'll find something better, you try to be strong for them and make it seem like it's not such a big deal. The new job, new place, new significant other, or whatever is taking them away is probably best for them anyway and because you love this person you want them to choose the best path. So what if it kills you inside to see them drive away? Maybe if they don't see you cry as you turn your back after saying goodbye, it'll make that big decision that much easier.
       This seems like the best course of action, and this is the one I have taken may times, but is it worth it? What if your "strength for their sake" is taken as indifference? If they never know how much you love them, how much it kills you to say goodbye to them, will they think that you simply don't care? I honestly don't know.
       I guess the point of this is just to tell all the people on the World Wide Web who are probably more concerned with the latest viral video or the next outrageous development in the political world that every goodbye could be the final goodbye. Leave nothing important unsaid or you'll be left with poisonous thoughts of what could have been and what should be.

Wedding Fever.

In light of the recent royal wedding, I thought I would blog about my ideal wedding. That's right, it's a future dreams blog. No real reason to keep reading.

        The perfect wedding starts with the perfect engagement. If I were to get my perfect dream proposal, I would be taken away for a romantic weekend in London seeing musicals at the West End, going shopping, and finally, after sunset, being taken to the London Eye

       And of course, no proposal would be complete without the ring.
This is really all I can think up so far. I guess engagement fever would be a better title.

Bloggity Blog.

Oh! What a day!

It started out with my EVIL boss assuming I was going to do her job AND mine with a smile on my face. Not happening boss lady. Not happening. Then a certain jerk I've been upset with decided to text me and dramatic again.
Anyway, enough whining. About today, I mean, not in general because I have one or two more issues I'd like to vent about. My favorite person is moving away and I am dying a little bit I think so I'm choosing not to think about it at all. I have The Unofficial Smithers Love Song stuck in my head, which isn't the best song but it's so catchy. My evil bitch sister is reading over my shoulder. Haha Troll. I'm writing about you now.

So pretty much I miss my everyone but I feel like I should be alone for a while. I know, I know,"EMO blah blah!" Well it's a bad idea for me to be in my current hormonal state and upset around people.

Setback? Maybe.

So dad has decided to get me a used car that needs a little work without consulting me. I appriciate what he's trying to do, but I would also like to be asked about these things because this car wipes out my entire Sweden fund and I have no choice. I do like this car though. His name is Colin/Betty/ThePinkPoodle/Slash. His official name is Slash though.

Chicken or Egg?

Alright, I promised Lisa I would message her about this, but I figured I could just blog about it.

Once upon a time, a little seahorse followed her friend the strawberry to the surface world in an aquasuit so they could spend time together. While they were hanging out in the market, a cat and his friend the wolf stopped by and introduced themselves to the seahorse. The seahorse quickly became fond of the cat and was quite taken with the wolf, which she didn't quite understand. She had never been fond of wolves, she actually resented them and she had a long history of never having feelings for men, but this one was so different from every other man.
   A week or two later, Strawberry and Seahorse's friend the robot was having a St. Patrick's Day party and Strawberry intended to get smashed and not tell Cat to come to the party. She failed on both. Seahorse's intentions were quite the opposite, she only wanted to stay sober and not think. She also failed and she had many, many drinks. When Strawberry called Cat and Cat asked if he could bring Wolf, Seahorse begged Robot to allow him to the party in the lab because she hadn't seen Wolf in so long. Seahorse and Strawberry ended up at Wolf's cave and Seahorse, having been properly stewed to the gills, was rather cuddly with Wolf. Unfortunately, so was Strawberry's friend the dog.
   The next morning, Seahorse was supposed to have a super girly sleepover with her friend The Hoppy Hoppy Sparrow. Being a girly sleepover, Seahorse spilled her guts and told Sparrow all about her confusion. Sparrow suggested that she should try being with Wolf. Seahorse thought she should but she also felt that there was something about wolf she didn't quite trust.
    In the end it turned out that she couldn't try because Wolf had to move away, and now Seahorse writes this so that her friend Sunflower could finally hear the story that SPARROW leaked without her permission. But now Seahorse feels the need to be closer to Wolf emotionally and she doesn't know if she wants it because he's gone, or because she really wants it. Which came first?
You're a jerk Sparrow.
Note: This is not entirely accurate. There were more meetings than this, it's a simplified story.

Missing, Loving, Thinking, Wishing

I have spent most of my day in a sleepy fog of Doctor Who and Samantha Brown with some muddled thoughts in between. I've been thinking a lot about my friends, knowing that some of them never think of me and trying to come to terms with the way people drift apart. I've been thinking about the way that old friends come back into our lives in ways we couldn't imagine and new friends who get so very close to us in such a short amount of time and then they are ripped away for our own good by fate. That thought particularly bothered me. Now I'm just missing my blue lady, my purple darling, and my green dear. I wish I could have them here for a chick flick night. Oh well. Back to the anime.

New Blog!

I have chosen to start a new blog since I... can. I pretty much have no other reason. Let's see how long thing will last.