Secondly, the best way to find out new things is to follow the link trail. I started out the night watching a video of some scuba divers bothering a poor defenseless coelacanth. The coelacanth is a fish that was long thought to be extinct until it miraculously resurfaced off the coast of Africa in the 1930's. This paleontologist's sweetheart is often sought after by underwater photographers, but is rarely captured because the global population of them is often estimated to be downward of 2,000. I couldn't help thinking that these guys should just leave this poor fish alone. His eyes did not look at all like they were used to light and here these guys were, shining huge flashlights in his face!
Continuing on to the National geographic website, I proceeded to read about Chinese catfish who could swallow me whole without fear of indigestion if they had a mind to. I learned that Velociraptor Mongoliensis had feathers and horrifying retractable claws. I found out that, like many other cool features of the animal kingdom, the narwhal's tusk is basically used for dick-waving contests between males (not unlike the peacock's hypnotizing plumage.)
I then found some animals that couldn't eat or maim me if they got bored. Unexpectedly, the giant clam made the list. I've read horror stories about swimmers getting caught in his clutches, but apparently, none of them were true. The giant clam cannot close his shell fast enough to capture unsuspecting swimmers. He doesn't even want to bother trying to taste you. Too much effort. Then there was my personal favorite, the seahorse! They are monogamous, the male bears the young, and the adorable little prehensile tails! Who wouldn't love the seahorse? People without souls. People who hate joy. People I personally don't care to associate with.
...I should probably try to sleep.
