Sunday, August 10, 2014

Funny Face, Shady Message?

             I just finished watching Funny Face, fully expecting to love it. I have now come out the other side very confused and a little grossed out. It has tons of things I love, Audrey Hepburn, Fred Astaire, Paris setting, fashion, dance numbers, an opening number about pink for goodness sake! The execution, however makes me very glad I wasn't born in the era in which this horror was written.
             It starts with a girl working in a book shop being bombarded by orders from models and photographers she has never met before in her life. They throw the whole shop out of order for an unauthorized photo shoot, despite her frequent protests and threats of police intervention. They finish and leave so the photographer helps her clean up. Up until this point, the movie seems like a typical clever-girl-beats-the-odds-with-unlikely-friends comedy I was hoping for at five in the morning. While discussing philosophy and empathy, out of freaking nowhere, Fred Astaire (who has a good thirty years on Audrey) just kisses her! He then proceeds to tell her that he kissed her because empathy told him she would want it. That's right, he pulled a Robin Thicke. He leaves and she proceeds to sing about how great it was and how this lovey feeling is an unknown phenomenon to her. 
             Back at the magazine, the director (editor in chief? I don't remember her title) is looking for an "It Girl" for the magazine to exemplify all that it stands for. Here Fred Astaire's character (aptly named Dick) decides to suggest this girl for the job, despite the face that he knows it would go against her morals to take it and then when she objects he dangles her favorite philosopher and Paris in front of her. Here again her character (named Jo) is weak and sacrifices her morals to meet her idol.
            The bulk of the part where they are in Paris actually isn't that bad so I was able to put away my skepticism for a while so I could enjoy the vintage cinematography and wonderfully cheesy songs. Then came the scene where the wedding dress photo shoot took place, and this cradle-robbing Dick proceeds to put the moves on exceptionally clever but surprisingly naive Jo, and again she takes the bait. Then everything is love and sunshine and roses until she finally gets to meet her philosophical kindred spirit and unlike the long-bearded, bespectacled, cranky old coot she was expecting to meet, he's young and charismatic.
            Dick finds Jo and the foxy professor in a cafe and instantly assumes the worst. He shows himself to be jealous and possessive and generally gross. Jo defends the professor, saying that he's only interested in her mind and that Dick(face) has no reason to be jealous and he retorts with the most sickening line in the whole movie. "He's as interested in your intellect as I am." 
            Jo goes back to a party at Professor Foxy's (that's not his name, I just can't be bothered to look it up) apartment. To the surprise of nobody, she's followed by jealous Dick and business-minded Maggie (the editor president queen whatever) who do a very jazzy number trying to get in to force a girl into a pretty gown. After they've failed, she finds out, again to nobody's surprise, that the philosophical professor who seemed a kindred spirit is actually a scuzzweasel trying to ferret his way in to her pants. He backs her into a corner, getting too friendly and she whacks him over the head with a pretentious statue. Go Jo! Except that the going that Jo does is straight back to her condescending old man love where, after a little confusion, they get married and float off down the river on a raft of questionable safety.
And they all lived crappily ever after!
          The moral of the story seems to be, if you're pretty, don't expect people to care if you're clever! Not even the person you marry! 

0/10 Would not recommend.

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